Conference

General Conference was this past weekend, and it was amazing. I mean it's always incredible, but there seemed to be something extra special about this one. I don't know how anyone else felt, but I'd like to apologize ahead of time, because I'm pretty sure the Lord inspired each speaker to say things specifically for ME. I'm serious. I felt completely nourished by the end of the four sessions. My spirit was uplifted and edified. I can hardly wait until next month's Ensign comes out and I can devour the talks again. But to be honest I'm probably going to waste my ink cartridge and paper to print them up when they become available online this Thursday. There were so many talks that touched me personally, I wish I would have taken some notes, or better notes from Sunday's to share my favorite talks and lines. Right now it's all a fuzzy spiritual happy blur.
The kids were good as well. We let them roam in and out of the room on Saturday, them deciding if they wanted to sit and be quiet and listen or not. I figure at these ages I can't get them to sit through four two hour sessions in two days, so I picked my fights.
On Sunday we decided to dress up and go to the Stake Center for the first session. We've never done that before, and it was really nice. It made it more real for the boys to sit in the chapel and be reverent.
After first session on Sunday we went home, had lunch and everyone napped (well everyone six and under). Tom and I watched the second session in peace and quiet while the boys slept. Shortly after the second session ended Talin got up from his nap. He comes up to me and asks when the next conference is going to start. I tell him that we just finished watching it. And to my absolute surprise, his face crumples and he bursts into tears. Wow. I would have been thrilled to have missed it at that age! My sensitive little man. I took him over to the computer and Tom restarted second conference so that he could sit and listen. I mean he only lasted about forty minutes or so, but I was impressed with his interest.
And on the other hand we have Collin asking me if he can play video games. I respond with a no, it's Sunday and we don't play video games on a Sunday. He looks at me and says, "Well, I thought because it was a different kind of Sunday we could play." Ha! My extreme opposites.

On the other hand, in case you haven't heard, real men....

Wear Headbands!

So So Cool!

A family in our ward invited us to go to Walking with Dinosaurs Friday night, for FREE!!!

The show was AWESOME, as you can see.

T-Rex was the best. The kids loved it.
Sorry it's a little shaky, Collin was sitting on my lap at this time.

Collin, Anthony, Kevin, & Talin.

There were several other families in the ward that came as well.

Oh yeah, and we were in a suite!!

There I am enjoying the good life...Diet Coke, fresh fruit, chicken strips...need I say more?

Another view of our fabulous suite.

We had about twelve chairs in the front to sit and view the show, and then a bar to sit at where you could see the stage as well.

The layout of delightful goodies.

It's amazing how much you'll eat even when you're not hungry, just because you're there and it's free! I felt I had to indulge, I mean I was in a suite, did I mention that yet?

The only picture I have of Caleb that turned out!

I wasn't suppose to use the flash, so I was shocked and Tom is reaching for the camera and irritated. Ha ha! I didn't care, I mean I was in a suite!

The boys again.

Collin, Kevin, Anthony (ducking, you can't see his face), & Talin.

The four of them had an incredible time.

And the perks of being in a suite, making a bed out of the big chairs for Caleb.
This is what he was doing when T-Rex came out, sleeping!! Through the best part! That's okay, I don't think he would have appreciated it anyway.
The silver lining in having a child with a hearing loss, just take off the hearing aide and they can sleep through ANYTHING!

Oh yeah, did I mention we were in a suite? I now know why they call it a suite, because it was freakin' sweet!!

Sneak Peak into our Past Week

Candid: free from reservation, disguise, or subterfuge; straightforward.
informal; unposed (except for a few): a candid photo.

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My kitchen might be minuscule, but it's my favorite place to cook and bake and create.
Especially with my little people standing on their chairs at the counter to help.

***************** If it weren't for the two little faces behind me, I would not have posted this picture.

Tom was camera crazy.

And apparently very happy.

You can't see it very well, but it's a large Book of Mormon he's sitting next to.
We start them early in this house.

New hair color, no surprise.
I'm off to Women's Conference.

Tom still hasn't put the camera away...

Talin moping the fact that he can't go to Relief Society and do crafts all the time.

"Why can't boys go and be in Relief Society?"

The first missing tooth for this boy.

He's been pleased as pie, especially when he ran into our room first thing this morning clutching a dollar bill.

He's been waiting for this day for forever.

Me and my big boys.

These are seriously the sweetest, most fantastic kids in the universe.

Couldn't do it without them.

Nasty Bug

Maybe Caleb's fever the other night wasn't just because of the shots...
Friday night I started running a fever in the middle of the night, but come Saturday I felt better and didn't give it much thought because it was the big Super Saturday and I needed to be there to help out all day (new calling is Enrichment Leader!). By one in the afternoon I was done, so I went home and napped and woke up with a fever.
I'm such a baby; I lounged on the couch and moaned the afternoon away.
Just ask Tom, I literally moaned.
Sunday I missed teaching my first Relief Society lesson that I was so over prepared and psyched to teach (second new calling, R.S. teacher!). Then I stressed that my last minute sickness might be viewed as convenient since it was kind of like my coming out weekend in new callings. I seriously hope no on thought that.
But worst of all, now that I'm all chipper and back to fabulous, the nasty little bug has invaded Tom and he woke up this morning with a fever. Unfortunately for him he has no choice but to get up and go to class and clinic this afternoon. I feel terrible for him, he won't be able to lounge on the couch and moan his complaints the way I did.

The latest and greatest on Mr. Caleb:
Saw the G.I. Specialist, Dr. Sloven on Friday. He decided that Caleb needed to go onto a drip feed system. He's only getting approximately 21-24 ounces of milk a day, and he needs 30 ounces a day to grow normally, so he eventually wants to get him drinking 45 ounces a day to catch up to normal growth. Geez!!! The plan is to drip feed him for 21 hours a day. So he has a nifty backpack that we carry around and he's attached to for 21 hours. It carries the milk and the drip feed computer to calculate all the amounts that go into him, a cord comes out that carries the milk and hooks into his NG tube that goes into his nose.
It's all fine and dandy until you lay your child down at night and realize that he's sleeping with a three foot cord that ends taped to his face.
I had a panic attack.
Talk about a choking hazard!
After standing over the crib and contemplating the potential death cord and what to do, Tom and I taped the cord to his upper back, lower back, down to his bum and ended with the cord taped to his foot. So in the event of rolling around the crib throughout the night, he really only manages to wrap his feet up in it. Well that's the hope...fingers crossed.
Now the interesting news with all of this is that if his body keeps throwing up the milk and he can't tolerate more food, then we're going to do a reflux surgery, where we take his stomach and wrap it around the bottom of his esophagus. And while he does that, we'll put a button into his stomach, which is the g-tube. That would be the end of tape and nose tubes, but not the solution to an agonizing problem that doesn't seem to have an end.
In the end I'm just grateful for all the many doctors that are helping my little boy to get as healthy as he can.

Burning

I'm sitting at the computer tonight holding my little man with a temp of a 101 degrees.

This kid is a first for everything with me in regards to parenting.

The first to get fevers at every three month check up when shots are administered.

The first to not make it on the weight charts.

And the list could go on, but it would sound sad, and having Caleb in our lives is anything but sad. And anything but boring.

His official 6 month check up stats are as follows:

Weight: 12 pounds 2 ounces

Height: 24 1/2 inches

And the latest doctor visit is scheduled for tomorrow with a gastrointestinal specialist. We are going to discuss the pros and cons of inserting a g-tube in Caleb. Feeding isn't improving and cardiologists are doubtful that the heart surgery will make a difference. So if this no eating thing is going to be so long term, we might as well consider the g-tube and save his face (and hair) the agony of tape rashes.

On a totally different note, Talin passed his first spelling test, yeah!!! I promptly took him to McDonald's for an ice cream cone. He worked really hard on his words this week and was super worried that he wouldn't be able to spell them well "without peeking". I assured him that he would, especially with all the work he put into studying, and then prayed fervently that my promise to him would come true. And it did.

Update

Proof that Amy takes awesome pictures, not that anyone needed any proof, but I love the ones she took of my boys when she came. More on these two later.

When we were in Iowa City we met with the Geneticist as well, that was on Wednesday. She spent a lot of time looking Caleb over. She measured his eyes, the space between his eyes, his ears, his head, his soft spot, his hands and fingers, his feet and toes, there was some crazy measuring going on. After her thorough evaluation she came up with a syndrome that she would most like to test for, it's called Goldenhar. Please don't Google it, it's kind of creepy. But it doesn't bother me so much if this is what's going on, because all of Caleb's symptoms and defects would be present now, and not show up in later years, and it has no effect on his physical or mental development. So he should be completely normal, except for the hearing loss, which isn't that big of a deal anymore (yeah!!).
This morning I got a call from the Iowa City hospital wanting me to come out and see the eye doctor because one of the defects is benign growths of the eye, so we have to go out in October. The lady on the phone told me the visit would be a minimum of two hours, not a big deal; I've been in waiting rooms for that long before!
I also saw Caleb's cardiologist on Friday, the one in town here, and he said that everything looks so well that we don't have to see him again until the beginning of November for him to check everything out before surgery. That was exciting because Caleb has never been that long without a cardiology appointment, two months, wow! (okay, I think it's closer to a month and a half)
And yesterday I went to our in-town audiologist to go over the results of Caleb's Iowa City testing from last week. She was very impressed and pleased. We have now readjusted his hearing aide and he's wearing it again. When she put it in he immediately responded. It was like night and day. All day yesterday, everything I said to him was just hilarious, he was in giggles all afternoon, it was so fun to see. He's still going to wear the headband as well; I'm just trying to come up with some inventive ways to remodel the band. I am not going to keep using the crusty Velcro tan thing he has, his hair always gets stuck in the Velcro. I'll come up with something, if anyone has any ideas, send them my way.

I need to document some completely random things my big boys have been saying lately. So the other day all five of us were driving in the car on our way home from the grocery store. (yes, we venture out quite often with ALL of the boys to buy groceries or wander Target for hours.)

Talin: Dad, who’s your favorite person in the whole world?

Tom: Mom.

Talin: (audible gasp and tsk) That wouldn’t be my favorite person.

Me: (LOUD gasping) What??!!

Tom: Who would be your favorite person then?

Talin: My favorite person in the whole world would be Jesus.

HA! Does this child ever cease to put us in our place? Who would your favorite person in the whole world be?

And then there's Collin who is a completely different personality from Talin. He came upstairs yesterday while I was getting ready.

Collin: Mom, I love you more than a google!
Me: Oh really, a google?
Collin: Yeah, I'll even love you when you're dead!
Me: You'll love me when I'm dead?
Collin: Uh huh, and I'll even love you when you're a grandma!
Me: Wow, you're so nice to love me even when I'm a grandma.

So funny. They certainly keep me entertained, but more importantly they keep Caleb entertained for me as well!

Caleb

Tuesday I’m sitting on the couch with Staci (early intervention worker) discussing Caleb.

Staci- “So how are things going with Caleb, do you get any responses from him when you interact?”
Me- “I’ve had a few experiences recently where I swear he hears me and responds differently. Like just the other day he was on Tom’s lap facing towards me when Tom made a silly noise and Caleb laughed out loud. He totally heard it.”
Staci- “Well was Caleb leaning up against Tom when he did the noise?”
Me- “Um yeah, I guess he was at the time.”
Staci- “Then he probably felt the vibrations from Tom’s chest when he made the noise and responded to that.”
Me- “Ohhhh…okay. But I’ve had other experiences. Like just recently I had him on my lap facing me and I was talking and laughing with him and he was jabbering back and laughing at me in response. Totally interacting with me. So I decided to test him and I did the same facial expressions, opened up my mouth like I was talking and smiled like I was laughing, but I didn’t make any noise. When I did that he immediately looked away and looked down and wouldn’t respond back.”
Staci- “Well you can feel vibrations in the air as well when you’re on someone’s lap and children that are deaf have their other senses heightened.”
Me- “Ohhhh…yeah, you’re probably right.” A bit deflated.

As of Wednesday my little boy had a severe hearing loss in his right ear, and a moderate hearing loss in his left ear. A severe hearing loss is difficult, almost impossible to aide, is the result of a damaged cochlea and hearing aides can only amplify distorted sound for a severe loss.
As of Thursday at 11:45 in the morning, my little boy has a mild to moderate hearing loss in his right ear and a fully working cochlea in his left ear. A mild/moderate loss is extremely aidable. He will receive normal hearing.

Prayers are answered.
Fasting works.
Miracles happen.
My gratitude is insufficient thanks to a Heavenly Father that is aware of my family.

Wish Him Luck!

(No, Collin is not having a seizure in this video.)

We're off to Iowa City today, I'll update all the doctor stuff when I get back!

Another First Day

Collin started his second year as a preschooler today. He was so excited to go that he was in my bedroom at 6:30 this morning telling me just how excited he was.
We were in a rush this morning and I forgot to take a picture of him before school. So I promised that we would take one when he got home. We ended up taking quite a few.
I'm sharing the many faces and personalities of Collin with you.
He came home proclaiming that he had met his best friend ever, but couldn't remember his name.

It's nice to have him busy doing his own thing in the mornings, but I'll miss the time we had before he started. Like just last week he went outside and showed me what it was like to chase the wind. What?? So I went out on the porch, and there he was running through the grass as fast as he could yelling, "see mom, I'm chasing the wind!", and then afterwards coming up to me and panting, "I won against the wind." Okay...

And for the first time in a long time I had a morning alone. Well almost alone. I did have to do a little entertaining...but he wears out much quicker than his older brother. So I did end up with some much needed quiet time.

I needed to contemplate a few things, mainly my new callings I received in church yesterday. More on those later.

After Collin's morning away and first day picture frenzy, he nabbed the camera from me and did a little photography of his own. Here's his work.

I'm not sure what he did here, but it's pretty cool, I might ask him to show me how to work my camera like that.

This wasn't distracting at all to a child that already hates eating!

He even managed to take some video, which I don't even know how to do on my camera.
So enjoy!


Caleb Update: This week is a busy doctor week, I'll start at the beginning.
Monday-Audiology appointment. We put him in the sound booth this afternoon to test him. The testing was a little dissapointing. I held him in my lap and as each sound and noise got louder he showed no response, even with the bone conductor hearing aide on. I'm trying not to get too disappointed, we don't have all the answers and children at this age often times don't respond consistently to sound.
Tuesday-Home nurse Tanda comes. She's awesome, she comes every week, sometimes three times a week to our home to check up on Caleb. Then we have Early Intervention working with Caleb and Staci comes over to the house once a month to work with Caleb and teach him things and mainly to teach me things, like how to interact and play with him.
Wednesday-I leave at noon to Iowa City. I meet with the geneticist that afternoon and we go through the genetic testing and get that process started.
Thursday-We have the Baehr first thing in the morning, which is a neurological hearing test. They will put Caleb to sleep and test his brain responses to sound. Diana (Caleb's audiologist) tells me that we will have some more answers after this test and hopefully a clearer picture as to what Caleb's future will be. We're also hoping to meet with Dr. Davis that day who is the pediatric heart surgeon that will be repairing Caleb's heart. If he's not in the OR that afternoon we'll sit down with him and discuss the surgery and all those details.
Friday-A trip to our in-town cardiologist Dr. Mooradian.

I know you're all jealous at the fun Caleb and I will be having this week, we'll keep you updated as to how it all goes!

After family prayer this evening I looked up to Caleb's sweet face and felt immense gratitude for the joy he brings into my life. Since he's been born I've heard many apologies, condolences and offered prayers for my little boy, and my heart bursts with gratitude for all those who are concerned and care. But when I think of every future and existing problem for Caleb, the pesty nose tube, the impending surgery and recovery, the hearing loss, the learning difficulties and the language barriers, and probably many other things I have not yet thought of, I am still filled with complete gratitude and humility that he's mine, and I would not change one hair on his head.

I almost cut off my head in this picture because I'm such a wreck, but Caleb is so cute it had to be posted.

This evening I was restless, I needed to be outside, the walls of my home felt as though they were closing in. So we went for a walk (that is why I'm so darn red in the face). This is how Caleb traveled. It's the good life for him.

And I meant to post this picture over a month ago when Cyndee was making her departure, but I forgot. That woman is so darn sneaky, she really thought she could somehow manage to go back to Arizona with Caleb. He tried to make his escape, but it just never worked out for the two of them. So this is for you Cyn. Your baby misses you!

Labor Day

We took the day literally this morning.

When I went out to work on the yard I found our wandering two year old neighbor boy in the back yard. He was wearing one jeweled sandal on one foot and a bright pink croc on the other.

I took a picture for proof.

This was my big raking accomplishment. I was dripping in sweat by the time the yard was in neat little leaf piles. I thought I had helped Tom out so much by raking the leaves for him.

Then he came with the lawn mower to the backyard and I realized that he was mowing them up instead of picking them up.

He assured me over and over that the raking really did help and make it easier for him, despite the fact he had never planned to rake, but to just mow them all. Nice.

And I worked really hard.

Want proof?

My new nasty blister.

After my yard work I decided it was time to cut the boys hair. It's been growing out all summer and was becoming completely unmanageable. I made the decision on Friday when I picked Talin up from school. It was humid outside and he was walking towards me and his hair was sticking straight up. It was as if he took his hands through it and because he was all sweaty it just stayed in an upright position. I knew it had to be cut. And he was very obliging to the suggestion.
Here are the before pictures.

And here are the after.

And I couldn't help but put this in. Caleb and his dinner.