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So Thursday morning was long, like really really long. Arrived at the hospital at 7 am and was ready for the testing by eight. My miracle happened when Caleb slept through the entire two and a half hours of testing. His typical awake time is around eight o’clock, so I was very happy.

I wish I would have brought my camera to document the testing. They hooked his head up to five different wires that were attached to the computer, he looked like some kind of science experiment, and then they put a microphone in one ear and a headphone on the other ear. We sat there in the dark and were only allowed to converse in whispers, but we didn’t talk, at least not me, I spent the entire time trying to read the audiologist as she helped out with the testing procedure.
Talk about agonizing, I have to stop trying to read people’s faces. I wanted to cry every time I would see her brow furrow or watch her shake her head. But the results turned out good. Best news of the day is that he’s not deaf. Well at least not completely. He has moderate to severe hearing loss in his right ear, and she suspects the damage is in the cochlea. Now his left ear is the one that is closed, so they put the headphones on that one and measured the neurological responses to sound, and his left ear did much better than the right. So there is a little bit of hope that when that left ear is surgically fixed and opened, that he might have decent hearing on that side. How ironic is that?
Next week we go in to fit Caleb for a hearing aid in the right ear. It’s a temporary fix until we go out to Iowa City and meet with the ENT’s that will hopefully be able to give Caleb a permanent fix to the hearing problem and with lots of luck, hopefully fix it completely so he won’t need a hearing aid at all. I do think he’ll be beyond adorable with a little hearing aid. It will add to his old man look.

On the other hand we got a call from our pediatrician Friday night. He was calling to check on Caleb and see how the testing went and how his cough/congestion is fairing. While Tom was talking on the phone with him he mentioned that when I come into the office for our appointment on Wednesday that he wants to give me the phone number for a genetic specialist to have Caleb tested for different genetic disorders. He reassured Tom that he didn’t suspect anything, just wants to make sure we aren’t missing anything. But of course I find myself at 2:30 in the morning freaking out about the whole idea. I know it’s unlikely that they’ll find anything, especially since I had the amnio that came back negative, but it still makes me worry. Just one more appointment, one more doctor’s visit. We’ve already been to eleven this month, I counted.

Friday night we also had the missionaries over for dinner. They are going through the Teach My Gospel book with our family over the next five weeks; we’ll cover a chapter each week with them. I was honestly dreading having to do one more thing, but I found the evening to be really rewarding. It’s amazing how having a refresher on Gospel principles can uplift you so much. Every step they went through in that first chapter was like an eye opener to me. I’ve definitely let myself fall back into self doubt and lost a lot of faith throughout everything, but listening to the Elders made me realize that there is only one place to turn for comfort and hope and peace with the situation at hand. And without a doubt that is to the Lord, I hope I don’t fail myself or my family by forgetting that again.

The boy’s have been really cute with Caleb lately. I find them singing to him often and Collin can not stop hugging and kissing the boy, which is probably why he has his little cough. Talin on the other hand is a funny boy. I walked in on him the other day leaning over Caleb and whispering to him, “Please don’t die Caleb”. It touched my heart, but worried me, no matter how many times I’ve explained to Talin that Caleb is not going to die, he still bears that worry.

Anyway, I’ve written a novel for myself here and now I have to put two rowdy little boys to bed.